Jackie's Story

I'm 45, I'm a mum of two, and I have been supported by the hospice for the last 2 years since I was diagnosed with cancer. This is my story.

I first came to the hospice in September 2007, to the Time 4 U Clinic. I had been referred by the hospital and I was very nervous, I didn't know what to expect and I was still coming to terms with the fact that I had cancer.

My first impressions were that I was made to feel very welcome by all the nurses, therapists and volunteers. It's very light and inviting, not at all oppressive and gloomy and everyone is very welcoming.

As well as the reflexology, hand massages and other treatments which all help me to cope better with my illness, the best thing about Time 4 U is simply the time to chat and share experiences with others who have the same or similar experiences and can understand how I am feeling. You're very vulnerable when you find out you are seriously ill and being able to go to a safe place where you can share experiences and learn from others is incredibly important. It really helped to rebuild my self-esteem - you can feel very vulnerable as a result of procedures you have to have done or the uncertainty you are experiencing about your future - and the social activities and treatments really helped me to deal with that. Self-esteem is a wonderful thing to give to a person.

I've been coming regularly to the Day Hospice for some time now. It's a wonderful place, the days whizz by. I have a young family, my daughters are 12 and 20, and this is such a painful time for them. They know that they are going to lose me eventually and that is very hard for us as a family to cope with. The wonderful thing about Day Hospice is that it is a place for me to be me for a day. I can chill out and be looked after. It's safe to talk without worrying about the effect on my family - it really takes the pressure off.

Susan, my hospice nurse, comes to see me at home most weeks. She's helped me to get my pain medication right so that I'm comfortable and she's someone to talk to about how I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing. Sometimes we just have a general chat and sometimes she talks to my family too.

You can live with cancer and still have quality of life. I'm living proof.

"It's very light and inviting,
not at all oppressive and
gloomy and everyone is
very welcoming."

"I have a young family, my
daughters are 12 and 20,
and this is such a painful
time for them. They know
that they are going to lose
me eventually and that is
very hard for us as a
family to cope with."

See Jackie talking to ITV in November

I went into the In-patient Unit in July and was there for three weeks. Before going in I had been quite poorly, my medication didn't seem to be working as well any more. I was really nervous and scared before going in. I was quite unsure of the situation. I wondered "Is this it?" I genuinely didn't know if I would die in those few weeks.

I had still been thinking of the IPU as a place to go to die. The room was lovely. I had an electric bed, a recliner chair, an ensuite shower room, a private patio to the garden. I was able to walk around the garden, using my zimmer frame, with my Mum and Dad.

My daughters have been able to get to know the nurses and it has helped to prepare them for when I need to go back to the IPU.

Staying in the IPU made me realise that although people go there when dying, it is not just for that. It's a place to go for recuperation and support or when you need a bit of treatment, such as the blood transfusion I had, to get you to a level of wellness to go home, back to your family.

I have been very lucky and it wasn't the end, after three week's I was able to go home again.

I will fight the cancer for as long as I am able to. I want and have to keep going for my family. I have been feeling particularly vulnerable since I realised the size of the pelvic mass. The cancer is spreading, in addition to the original cancer I have secondary tumours in my lung and liver. I am scared. I have to keep my brain in gear and be glad to be alive each day. How long do I have now? I have no idea. I try not to think about it, but to make the most of each day here with my family.

I dread to think how we would have coped without Weston Hospicecare. It's been a lifeline to us. It would have been awful to have gone through this without Weston Hospicecare, I can't think of anything worse.

Sadly Jackie passed away in February 2010. Weston Hospicecare would like to thank Jackie for her openness and willingness to share her experiences for the benefit of others. We would also like to thank Jackie's family for allowing us to continue to tell Jackie's story

How your support could help someone like Jackie:

• £23.20 could provides an hour of practical and emotional support from a Community Nurse
• £31 could provide a day's support at the Day Hospice
• £500 could provide a 16 week support programme at the Day Hospice

Your company, group, school or organisation could:

• Make it possible for a Community Nurse to provide practical and emotional support to patients for a whole day, by raising £174
• Raise £434 and keep the Day Hospice open for a whole day, giving patients the support they need to enable them to make the most of life
• Keep all the patients in the In-patient Unit pain-free for a month by raising £600
• Pay for the Time 4 U Clinic to provide emotional support and therapies to patients undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy FOR A WHOLE YEAR by raising £5,611