Introduction
A daughter from Somerset has shared her story with Weston Hospicecare about the care for her mum, who was being cared for terminal cancer.
Teri McDonald, from Somerset, says “The hospice is an angel service and you’ll never be disappointed, ever!” after the charity cared for her mum, Mandy, before her death in November 2022.
This week, Hospice Care Week (The same week as our Blue for You campaign), Teri explains how the hospice not only met the needs of her mum but cared for the entire family.
Throughout the week, in conjunction with Hospice Care Week and Blue for You, we will be sharing bitesize chunks from Teri.
How the hospice first started to help…
Teri says “Mum had an eight year battle with cancer, which started with kidney cancer before in spread.
“She was a very, very healthy and fit lady prior to the diagnosis, so it was a huge shock to us all.”
The hospice initially began caring for Teri’s mum through the Community Nursing provision, but after issues with mobility she was admitted to the hospice’s In-patient Unit.
Teri continued “As soon as we arrived, the doctors spoke with all of us to get to know mum, her history and what was important to us as a family. We were included in every conversation.
“The aim was to control mum’s symptoms before discharging her home.”
What happened next…
Mandy was apprehensive about staying at the hospice by herself, therefore her husband (Teri’s dad) stayed with her.
Teri said “Dad stayed with mum 24 hours a day. The hospice staff put up a bed for dad in mum’s room. She didn’t want to be on her own.
“We had some ups and downs in that first week and the aim still remained to try and get mum home.”
Due to mobility complications, Mandy had a specialist visit her at the hospice to assess her condition.
Teri continued “We just couldn’t get mum to any appointment. So a Parkinson’s specialist came to the hospice from Bristol to examine the mobility problems.
“It turned out it wasn’t a development of Parkinson’s, her cancer had deteriorated and it could not be treated.”
A set back, but what followed?
It was determined the best course of action was to treat Teri’s mum at the hospice for the rest of the time she had.
Teri says “Dr Adam Baker, a Speciality Doctor at the hospice, was the first doctor to say to be upfront with mum. He said ‘Your mobility isn’t coming back, there is nothing we can do’ which mum needed to hear.
“Mum had been adamant that she wanted to return home but did not ask again after speaking to Dr Adam.
“She knew that she needed to stay at the hospice.”
The hospice fulfils wish…
Mandy wanted her whole family with her when she died. With thirteen family members, the challenge was to accommodate everyone, which the hospice catered to.
Teri said “It was a Saturday and I remember we all started to arrive gradually. As each sibling arrived, colour would come back into my mum’s cheeks. Although she couldn’t communicate at this point.
“The staff were fantastic, some of my siblings and sister-in-law hadn’t slept in more than 24 hours. So, the nurses encouraged as many of us as possible to utilise the family room to sleep.”
The “shift-changer”…
Mandy died shortly afterwards at the age of 68. Teri continued “We spent some time with mum after she died. It was a shift-changer, everything was explained to us by the hospice staff and they upheld their dignity towards mum.
“They allowed my sister-in-law, who is a care home worker, to wash mum. This gave us as a family that additional personal touch.
“It was a family member able to do it, which was amazing. We were then able to spend as much time as we needed with mum.
“Mum was given a relaxant and after she took her final breath, we rang the bell for a nurse who came in and was very empathetic, we were in floods of tears.
“She went straight to mum and even then, with mum no longer breathing, she said ‘Hi Mandy, I am just doing some checks. Rest in peace’ and she was just generally really respectful to mum.”
About the hospice and what next…
Weston Hospicecare provide palliative care to people with a life-limiting condition in Weston-super-Mare and surrounding areas. It costs £5.5million each year to provide these services, which are provided completely free of charge.
As a charity, the government fund 20% of the hospice’s annual costs, with the rest coming from revenue generated through fundraising and our charity stores. Volunteers also provide vital support to ensure smooth running.
Later in the week, we will reveal how the hospice cared for Teri, her dad and what fundraising plans the family have to support the hospice.